THE ART OF SEDUCTION: GETTING HER FROM TWITTER INTO YOUR BED

Wassup y’all! I’m back with more bullshit, and this particular blog is specifically designed to informate (if that’s a word) you on the proper way to go about getting a girl from twitter. Lets face it.. Apart from the faggots that like to troll for RTs, niggas on twitter are just there to holla at bitches. When you sign up for twitter, it’s definite you’re on the look out for some pussy. This is a fact and I know this because I didn’t look it up or research it. So lets call a spade a spade… And end this myth forever. Nobody gets on social media anticipating to soak up some knowledge, social media is not Google or Wikipedia.

Y’all prolly wondering if a bitc.. I mean a lady will agree to give up the box to a stranger she met on a social network, right? Of course the answer is a big YES! The only reason bitc.. I mean ladies sign up for twitter is to get on there and be sneaky, just like us men. In other words, if your girl is on twitter, it means you got a hoe on your hands and there’s a 10/10 chance that you’re sharing the box with another nigga. That may be bad news for the lame ninjas staying faithful, but great news for most of us coz it means every bitch on twitter is a potential target. When one of these hoes first signs up for twitter, she might start off with a couple subtle freak tweets such as “I want sex”. She does this coz everybody knows the thirsty niggas that don’t get real life pussy gonna pounce on that like hyenas in the wild.. And if you think that’s bad, my nigga she’s just getting started! She then starts posting thirst traps.. Her in a tank top that puts them titties damn near her chin. Obviously, she’s doing it for attention, coz everybody knows bitc… I mean ladies love attention. Now that I think about it there’s no woman in this world that will ever say she’s getting too much attention. Believe me, when it gets to this point, it means that hoe is now open for business, and as the great Mwai Kibaki said, “If you don’t take a chance, then you don’t stand a chance”, so that should be your cue to slide in a try to hit it.

Before we get started, I want to set a few things straight.. First, like in the real world, impressions matter. Folk, that simply means that if you’re criss crossing them twitter streets cruising on a writelonger tweet client, nobody will take you seriously. It’s like riding a boda boda on Uhuru Highway and expecting bitches to break their necks to see who zoomed by. My girl, @dalezdiva told me dudes with iPhones get pussy easily on twitter, so if one of your ambitions in life is to buy plan B pills for one of your followers on a Saturday morning, I would advise you to invest in one. Remember, where the money is, that’s where the pussy goes so, it goes without saying that if you’re using Android you’ll just have to let your personality shine thru’ bruh… But there’s no guarantee you’ll be graduating from beating your meats to the nude pics on the TL to something real any time soon.

The other issue is about choosing your target. There are two types of ladies on twitter… The insecure bitches that get on the network to keep tabs on their man, and the hoes join to hunt for dick. It easy to tell them apart; the insecure bitches are all about Bible verses and Inspirational tweets.. These are the losers you should not have any business with. All the hoes are fair game, but I strongly advise against making a move for a socialite or a bigwig before you’ve earned your stripes in these twitter streets coz none of these flamboyant bitches will bother to acknowledge your mentions if you got no street credibility. In any case, I don’t think you should waste time and data trying to holla at some of these bigwigs coz most of them bitches are just basic. There are a lot of cute ladies on twitter, but guys are killing themselves to get noticed by these female bigwigs yet most aren’t even worth a sentence as far as beauty is concerned. Take one @kym254 for instance.. To every man his own, but unless you find running your fingers thru her cellulite like braille to be romantic, my advice would be to give those types a wide berth.

That said, lets get to the main thing, how to grab her from the TL to your bedroom. Personally, I have never done this so I’m just guessing but I’m 100% sure this method will work sometime.

Part 1: Timeline Flirting

The first step of this process can be very tricky. Getting the girl from your timeline to your DMs. We’ve all been in this predicament unless you’re some sort of faggot. It’s the hardest part of the process and believe me, I’ve seen dudes put on a suit and tie just to send that DM. There are several different reasons to DM a chic on twitter but ultimately we want the same thing out of it …some pussy.

However, before you even get to the DM, you should know where it all starts: the timeline. Fellas, you gotta do a little flirting on there, no matter how unsettling that might be. When she posts a photo and she’s looking edible you have to send her the thirst emojis.. If the bitch ignores you, delete the tweet and go back to the drawing board or unfollow that bitch, but if she responds with a “lol” or one of those flirty emojis, then my nigga you’re in there like booty hairs!

I can only get you this far, what you do in the DMs is up to you. At this point, you control your own destiny. If you’re lazy as I suspect, you can just do what I say and tell her you would fuck her until eyeballs pop out like Muite’s and see where things go from there.

Part 2: The DM’s

You’ve been flirting with this chic in the 140s for a while now, and she “LMAO” at all your jokes even the shit that’s not that funny. It’s time to let that DM fly now young grasshopper.. Niggas DM for different reasons; some want that private conversation, some just want their girlfriend to stay the fuck out their business but either way this is for y’all. You sit at home, phone in hand trying to figure out how to let this DM go, coz you know you might only get one shot. The DM game is a cold world to be honest… If the chic is attractive you know there’s at least four other niggas in her DM and on top of that the niggas might have more followers than you so you have to make it count. I know ninjas who’ve drunk a whole BlueMoon bottle on a Saturday night to get confidence to drop that DM, but it turns into an agonizing wait when the hoe ignores them.. Come Sunday morning them niggas will be in Church before even God gets there to pray that the bitch doesn’t make their business public by posting the screenshot.

There a couple ways to approach this DM thing and depending on the chic, you can think of some smooth shit or you can go plain and simple… If it’s a girl who seems somewhat classy you probably gotta take the smooth DMs way… Give her a couple of compliments since bitches love those.. If she’s fine enough, you can even ask her how her day went or some other sap shit like that. One of my personal favourites for those is the late night, “Why are you still up” DM… That shit is 75% effective when done right unless she’s a lightskin bitch since all rules fly the fuck out of the window with them soulless hoes… However, if your target is one of those twitter bitches with loose morals it’s a whole new ball game my nigga.. You can come out swinging your dick into her DM my nigga. Personally, I’ve never DM’d one of these bitches in question, but yeah, you can just tell her some off the wall shit like “I just wanna get drunk and lick the shit off your clit”. Loose bitches like shit like that.

Ultimately, the point of the DM is to get the number, progress, and make that next move. The whole sequence from the DM to your bed should take 5 working days max. If you fail though, don’t be afraid to unfollow and report that bitch as spam immediately. Good luck my niggas.