SELF ESTEEM & RELATIONSHIPS

Good evening to the Hoes that thanked the Lord for another day… I’m sure he was confused about that but okay, I hope business is good!

I’ve noticed that the more money ladies make, the more lonely they are.. Shows that you don’t make the money, the money makes you! A lady gets a promotion at her job, and every nigga ain’t on her level any more, including her kids father.. Funny to me! That’s why we got so many single mums nowdays, talking about “I don’t want a man around my kids, I can raise em up myself!”.. So why are you fucking ‘Any man’ though? Bitches that ‘Got her Own’ never have ‘Her Own Man’ coz you’re so focussed on being a pedestal yet he’s milking your Dumb ass dry! Just coz your kids father thinks YOU ain’t shit, it doesn’t mean you should tell your kids HE aint shit.. It’s YOU he hates! You bitter bitches are always underestimating the importance of a father in a child’s life until it’s fuckin too late… If you’re one of them women that poisons your child’s mind against their father, I hope one of your pussy lips swell up to the size of a melon..

I wonder why some ladies breeding rats and roaches try to make you take off your shoes when you come into their dusty house, then give you that look that says “So you got smelly feet?”, when you refuse to. Bitch, fuh’whut? So that my toes can be chewed by those starving rats mating on the carpet? I’d rather go back! By the way ladies, if you invite a man to your place and you’re both relaxed on the couch watching a movie and a cockroach runs across the TV screen.. The only way to redeem yourself is to give him some Head.. So you should hurry up, unzip his pants and start sucking so that he doesn’t leave…

:RELATIONSHIP ADVICE:

.Ladies.. STOP supporting your hoe friend everytime she gets pregnant.. Bring that bitch some plan B pills to the Baby Shower next time she delivers..
.Cute bitches complain about being single coz they think it’s their right to have a man. Bitch, we men know that cute gets old,
but personality doesn’t, that’s why your ugly friend has a man..
.Fellas.. If you can’t pronounce the words on prescription bottles in her cabinet.. Wear a Condom! She got something!
.Ladies.. If your man got braids and skinny jeans on, you should know that he likes to sit naked between another dude’s legs!
.Men NEVER CHEAT on women.. What usually happens is that most women find about his new woman during the transition phase and raise hell over nothing 😀
.Ladies.. Admitting that you don’t give Head in 2012 is admitting that you don’t know how to keep a man happy, which is your Biblical responsibility.. You’re not living up to your full potential! As the great Martin Luther King Jr said, “Women shouldn’t be judged by the content of their character.. But by the Quality of Head they give!”
.Ladies.. If all your friends are getting married except you.. Then you’re the hoe out of the crew! You make a nice bridesmaid though..
.Fellas.. If you must have a change of diet, then use a condom! I know some nigga got an STD but keeping quiet about it so that the girlfriend thinks she gave it to him. Ladies.. If you’ve had more than one STD, then you trust that dick way too much!
.Ladies.. Please know how dress up for special events like church and weddings.. Now we even got bitches turning up for interviews dressed in leggins and a blazer.. Sex doesn’t sell everything!
.A dude only wanting to fuck is no different from a bitch that only wants a man for his money, so why is yo gold diggin ass complaining when you see her with another man..
.Ladies.. A real woman hand washes her man’s boxers after a three hour gym session.. If y’all single ladies are too good for that, then forget hearing some wedding bells EVER!

Men lie about two things, Money and Dick size.. So ladies, next time you see that man flossing with an iPhone bragging how he watches EPL on a 62 inch LCD.. Know you’re about to be surprised with a short dick in a shack made out of Samsung TV boxes! But it’s fair trade, after all, you ladies lie about EVERYTHING.. That you’re wife material, pussy size, fake hair, fake nails etc

Lastly, since it’s Saturday and chilly weather is trending now, I expect a lot of niggas to be spotting wrinkled nutsacks tomorrow after emptying all the contents due to cold weather inspired coitus.. All I ask is, don’t do shit you’ll regret later, wrap it up before you use it on her!

WHY YOU’RE SINGLE…

Good evening to peeps that woke up today, showered with no soap, washed all major crevices with no wash rag, but been shaking hands all day.. I see y’all!

I noticed a lot of tornadoes walking around town today.. these fat bitches in skinny jeans.. Fat bitches, remember that you weigh exactly the same as you do when it’s raining! Wear yo damn size! A few rays of sun don’t make you a model! Please listen to the wrinkles, stretchmarks, fat flabs, downward pointing nipples, and abnormal length of yo breasts.. If they fit that description, COVER’EM UP!! People, also TRY to remember that the sun shines on the OUTSIDE not INSIDE! Tha fuck you in the supermarket wearing shades for?

::RELATIONSHIP ADVICE::

Ladies.. Here’s a few reasons why you can’t keep a man…

.Y’all notice that chics always saying “Can’t appreciate me at my worst don’t deserve me at my best”, can’t find a man? There’s a reason you can’t keep a man! It’s coz you’re always at your worst!
.Women need justification for all the dumb shit they do.. That’s why y’all scared to ask your grandma for advice, coz you know it’s wrong! How the fuck do you break up with a man just coz you saw him with another woman? Grandma was proud to be wife #7/12. You should know that 75% of women were meant to be side chics, that’s why we got more women than men on earth, even chokoras got side chics nowdays! Instead, every hoe keeps a best friend that makes her feel like men are the problem and not her. Coz she don’t wanna change!
.One thing many women stand for is NOT going after a man she’s interested in.. But y’all will CHASE after a No Good Ex that don’t want you!
.You been on 3-4 dates with a nigga and you paid for them all.. Who’s the fool, him or you? That’s called desperation ladies!
.You saying that your beauty scares men away, yet you look exactly like your daddy, making men wonder if you forgot your titties in the house!
.You’re always arguing with men, he needs some fuckin silence! Ladies, its Ok not to have the last word, you won’t die or anything. Some of you women need that last word like a diabetic needs insulin..
.You’re all over fb and twitter looking for dick.. Fellas, If she’s a Hoe on social media, then she’s a hoe on the streets! Always updating “My pussy is always wet”.. That’s not normal.. That’s that chlamydia talking!
.You got the county record for most abortions in a year, now your pussy stinks regrets and dead babies! Hey ladies, what will you tell all the kids you aborted when you get to heaven?
.I know every woman reading this swore she was gonna wait till marriage to have sex. What happened? Aw yeah, Dick happened 🙂 But a few of you still got that old school mentality that they can make a man wait till marriage.. No self respecting hyena will hang around for nothing! Fellas, never be a virgin’s first, it takes her approx. 4 yrs to get over you! Personally, I don’t care if she’s 25.. If I gotta hear “Stop, Ouch, Ooh, Hold up, Wait..” all night, I don’t want it!
.You’re steady talking about a good man is hard to find.. Bitch, that’s coz your belly button is hard to find.. They say don’t judge a book but if you’re shaped like a stack of encyclopaedias, at 20 and you got that grandma shape, how the fuck will you look at 35?
.You give up the pussy on week one.. Sure, niggas gonna hit it, but he won’t commit.. Talking about.. “So you just gonna nut and run away?” Hey bitches, if you want to be a hoe, then be a hoe, but don’t blame men. You’re offering free rides, don’t expect him to fall in love!
.There ain’t nothing worse than a chic in her 30s having a nigga she’s just fucking.. Her life went seriously wrong somewhere! If you’re dating a man more than two months and he aint made up his mind about you.. LEAVE HIM.. If he says, “I’m not trying to date yet, RUN!
.You talking of ‘New growth in your hair’ yet we can see it’s your real hair pulling off the weave that just celebrated it’s first birthday.. And you got guts to expose the corns on your toes and cracked up feet that are rougher than the neighbourhood mechanics hands.. Be kind to the EYES by not wearing open shoes! You obviously don’t give a fuck about your life, why should a man do?
.Every nigga sees how bad you talk about your Ex’s on twitter and fb.. Bitch, we know you’re bad for business!
.You’re earning peanuts but want a dude with cash to throw around, all men that tried to date you gave up! Now you’re praying and fasting for another man? Ain’t happening bitch! No way the Lord is setting him up for failure! Don’t you know that two broke people are a match made in heaven? Date your type bitch!

Lastly, ladies.. All the good men aren’t ‘TAKEN’.. It’s just the men you want already got somebody! Get your own MAN bitch!

LOUSY CHOICES WILL HAUNT YOU…

Good evening to the women with zero femininity lining up their goatees right now, getting ready for the club.. Seriously though, ladies, that cactus leg look ain’t sexy!! Run a mower up your leg and shave that shit! In bed trying to be sexy ripping flesh off your man’s legs!!

Prezzo angered a lot of “single by choice ladies” all over Africa with that tirade against Barbz. That’s what I’ve always been preaching from this pulpit! Every woman got that dude she dissed way back, now he’s happily married.. And every dude got that chic he wanted to wife but she only liked thugs. That’s why most chics claiming to be ‘Single by Choice’ are mostly 30 & up.. At that age they painfully reflect on all their bad choices in men. It’s the reason young men are taking advantage of these older women in their mid 30’s.. They’re so desperate they pay on first dates, buy you clothes and give you a Door key on week One! Not all of you ladies are wife material, some of you ladies are just around to remind a man what not to look for in a woman though..

Slippers will never be Ok to wear outside as you got about your daily business. Yet that doesn’t stop some of you dusty muthafuckers wearing them out! Every man should own at least a pair of decent shoes, there’s really no excuse for that fuckery, unless of you got smelly feet, in which case the govt allows you to chop them off!

I’m on a table with this chic that’s scratching her weave every 4 seconds… Heeeeey, I know nobody talks about ‘Dusting their shoulders off’ anymore, but some of you dandruff infested bitches still need to do that! Bitch, how you talking about being classy with all that dandruff in your weave? I beg to differ!

Today’s Relationship Advice:
.Ladies.. It’s Ok to drink, but if you stagger back home in the morning, reeking of stale alcohol, vomit in your hair, broken heel on your shoe, a ripped dress and an STD.. Then you got no ‘class’. Honestly, you’re just a cheap whore!
.Ladies.. If he always fucks you with his socks on, and at least 3 of his toes are poking thru the holes in those socks, he’s the one, stop searching..
.Nowdays a lot of women are faaar tooo quick to snap off their bra and pose for pictures topless! Making life bearable on MKZ.. Some of you got a big toe for a nipple though, like some bitch called Shie Promise 🙂
.Fellas.. Anytime a chic gets a new man just two weeks after you break up… She’s been fucking with him. She was just waiting to break up with you so she can hook up with him.
.When a man introduces his chic to another woman__ In her head, she’s trying to remember if she saw her name in his phone before.. .Fellas.. If you’re with your chic and she don’t introduce you to her guy friend.. She never fucked him, but they came close!

I don’t know if it’s just me, but this week alone, three women with small kids have approached me begging for fare on the pretext that they’ve been pick pocketed. What sold them out, I noticed speak in English, the shitty type though, so I figured out it must be an act. I think peeps are going too far with this begging business. That’s why on a random day, I sometimes stand in front of beggars, act like I’m rummaging in my pockets for change, then I pull out newspaper cuttings with Job Adverts.. The look on their face,, priceless! BTW, I don’t mean the blind, I mean perfectly healthy bitches and niggas like y’all in Clubs right now begging for drinks!

Enjoy your night out!!